Studying Abroad: Hurdles And Barriers

By Philip Host on April 29, 2015

Image via Philip Host

There is a vague body of students at my home university that I have noticed walking past me at high speed, or conversing in tightly clustered groups.

I often do not know exactly where they are from; sometimes I am unable to narrow it down any further than “South Asia” or “North Africa.”

Sometimes they speak to one another in English, and I have found myself wondering how much more expressive they are in their native language, whether the English practice is fair payoff for the reduced ability to communicate. I have never spoken to any of them, except maybe if they ask for a light.

If you have not already guessed, I am talking about exchange students. For the most part they mix into many universities like oil into water and our studies progress more or less parallel to those of the local population.

Rather, I should say we: for the past eight months I have been among the most glaring beacons of foreignness at a Turkish university and have gained some insight into what previously never even struck me as an issue: the isolation of exchange students.

I do not want to be melodramatic. On any exchange program that I know of it is easy to make friends, or as easy as anywhere else. And while I question the use of the word “exchange,” I do not question the value of spending time abroad.

My year in Turkey has been one of the most formative, fascinating, and enjoyable of my life. I am merely suggesting some skepticism about words such as “authentic,” or “cultural exchange.” More specifically, I am offering a revised definition.

There is no way for me to have the much-coveted “authentic Turkish experience.” This does not, of course, detract from the authenticity of my American-living-in-Turkey experience. But I have yet to see the slogan “Live like an American living in Turkey!” on an exchange program’s website.

Some of the difficulties of integrating into another society are obvious. Others did not occur to me until I encountered them. The overarching issue is simple: with few exceptions, your friends will be as foreign as you are.

I will speak of Turkey from now on, as it is the only country in which I have been a foreigner for an extended period of time.

I am not claiming that it is impossible for me to truly befriend a Turk, Kurd, Syrian, or Armenian. Only that the process of making friends, and frequently the nature of the friendship, is fundamentally different. You can hear this difference in the pride with which many exchange students talk about “their Turkish friend” and all the Turkish activities that the friend showed them.

You can hear it too in the snippets of Turkish culture that Americans trot out in front of Turks, or the bits of American culture that Turks drop into a conversation with Americans. In most first encounters, the roles are predetermined.

You and your interlocutor are not on equal footing: you flew however many miles to be where they are and either they want to show off their country—which when have you ever started a relationship with someone from your hometown by showing off your country—or they are somewhat puzzled as to why you made all this effort to get to the place that they have been itching to leave.

Consider, now, who it is with whom you are speaking. With some exceptions, conversation and subsequent friendship tends to begin with an approach.

When you live in another country, particularly when that country’s native language is different from your own, it is the observation that the two of you are from rather different places, more often than not, that prompts this approach. In short, the people who approach Americans tend to really want to get to know Americans, and that is a strange basis for friendship indeed.

So you hang out with other exchange students. There is ready material: you all found this random country interesting and lugged yourself around the world to get there; you all find some local quirks amusing, and others quite sound; you all want to pierce to the heart of this new home, or go out drinking a lot, as the case may be.

I do not know whether this is a function of the profundity of shared foreignness or rather the height of the hurdles between a foreigner and the place where he or she is living, but there is an undeniable bond between people who do not belong. Immigrants tend to socialize with immigrants, at least for the first generation, and I cannot blame them.

I have heard some people speak disparagingly of the parallel course of exchange students at their host universities. Sometimes they see it as haughtiness, or at least an unwillingness to engage. But I ask you to consider the terms on which you are engaging them, if you are approaching them at all.

If they are reading a book that you love, do not be offended if they do not fully understand and the conversation ends sooner than expected. And if you ask if they like the United States, especially if they have been there for some time, do not be surprised if you receive no more than an answer to your question.

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